No Mud- No Lotus
By Felise Berman August 17th, 2018
Nam Myho Renge Kyo
I have been seeking advice from the elders my (mentors) to understand some reoccurring painful events. The question I ask is, why do I allow people into my life that betray or hurt me? I have done this in relationships personally and professionally. It always leaves me feeling exhausted and wounded.
I have been advised to practice and affirm my SELF ESTEEM while chanting every day; so while I chant I affirm “I am a person of unlimited self-esteem and appreciate my life, including my flaws, accomplishments, defeats, losses, victories, all that I have created and I appreciate my talents.”
After a few hours of deep chanting with a single pointed focus on Self Esteem, my innate wisdom begins to crown and shine, showing me, in my mind’s eye, I begin to see a Lotus Flower, of course, I question it, should I ignore this or move past the vision? Do not be swayed, then I allow myself to follow the thought; and I am introduced to a divine insight.
Those who have disappointed me and hurt my heart are necessary for my growth. They are the MUD in my life; the Lotus flower blooms most beautifully in murky, dark, muddy water, in fact, it uses the MUD to grow.
The flower once it awakens from the dark murky water and opens its petals; a beauty is bestowed upon the world, untainted by the MUD. I know, I AM the flower, NOT the MUD, but I am grateful for the mud, because it pushes me closer to understanding who I am.
Then I look to the sun and bloom, from the muck and mire; I rise and from all the gossip and pettiness, I RISE!
People try to put me down; and it would often paralyze me with self-loathing. But today I find a new perspective, just from a sincere spiritual practice with amazing mentors and teachers who inspire me and guide me.
The moral of the story, chant like a warrior to remind Self we are unlimited when it comes to high Self-esteem and I appreciate everything.
The MUD will always be there because it helps ME grow and it is a part of the source however I am the LOTUS, untainted by the dirt that tries to cling to me and hold me back from the light.
THE MUD is every man who told me I was not lovable and every person who did something cruel and hurtful to me after I poured my heart into their growth.
If you find it necessary to hurt me, then you have now been categorized as a part of the MUD, and I see gratitude, instead of malice.
Om Mani Padme Hum